One of these things is not like the other.

We did some preliminary suit shopping for Kelley on-line the other night over a glass of wine. A trusty Google search of "women's tuxedos" brings up dozens of uniform Web sites featuring either frumpy waitress tuxedos or slutty waitress tuxedos -- no lesbian wedding tuxedos. What comes next only gets more perplexing. After narrowing our search to Chicago department store sites, we found just one with a satisfying array of women's suits and tuxes in white and summer colors. Looks like we'll be slumming it at Bloomingdale's.

Detail update

The "wedding details" link on the right side of this page has been updated to reflect the ceremony and reception details. Check it out.

Mental health

Talked to my mom. She was just having a mental health moment, not a hating Kate and Kelley moment. She has flares of agorophobia and the idea of traveling had her worried, even if she went with my sister and we paid for her hotel room. The Davenport's option and/or a dinner in Normal will be more her speed. Most women would probably be disappointed if their mother couldn't make it to their ceremony. But I am OK with that part. I am concerned that she's losing her grip, and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Bridadoon

We're on for Davenport's on Sunday, Sept. 3, for our Chicago reception. Now we just need to confirm the entertainment and caterer.

This is good news, except that it means I cannot use all the fun pre-wedding party names my friend, Moira, and her co-worker, Kevin, at the Cheese Reporter devised. Betrothal Bash. Maiden fair. Brigadoon. The last one doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I love the storyline nonetheless.

Now I have to see if the piano player can learn a medley with "Nothing's going to stop us now" and "The lady is a tramp."

We're here, we're Weir ...

Get used to it! I wonder if Johnny is ordained. Maybe he could help out MJ with the ceremony. He cuts a phrase as well as a triple axle. 

Roadblock

Lame breaking news. Davenports wants to book us on July 2 -- but we expect many of our friends to be out of town or attending another wedding we've been invited to on that date. This ruins my creative pursuit of the name one gives a party held before a commitment ceremony. Engagement party? Almost commited party? Conception party (as opposed to reception)? It'll be no party at all.

I'm also reconsidering this whole Chicago party thing. I wanted to include my extended family in it, but I'm thinking they may have a hard time making the big 120 mile trek to the big city. So maybe we'll hold a reception dinner down there and just throw a little something at a tavern up here for our friends. Decisions decisions. Normal, Ill., here we come.

Crazy

My mom called Kelley on Sunday night. She sounded sad and told her when I was feeling OK to let me know she wouldn't be attending our commitment ceremony. Then she hung up.

Comfort zone

The moment has come, the moment we've all been waiting for. This morning we are going to pick up a recliner. Da da da dummm.

This weekend has been a domestic triumph. We hung curtains. We priced accent chairs in the suburbs. But yesterday, cans of Sparks caffeinated malt liquor in hand, we braved the eighth floor of Marshall Fields and found a chair Kelley can sleep in for under $500.

This is as far as I go, my friends. No chance for a television in the bedroom. Just a bed in the TV room.

Romantic stuff

After spending much of our Saturday night hanging curtains in a three-pane window, Kelley collapsed on the couch with this comment: you must love me to make this commitment. Bologna. I've hung curtains with a SO before (years and years ago, dear) and it didn't last. However, I must say, this round of hanging went much smoother than when KQ tried to hang blinds at our last apartment. The longer we're together, the easier it is to get the rod straight.

Speaking of straight rods, my little lady ventured out to do the grocery shopping by herself today and got followed around by an older man. When KQ made a comment about bumping in to him in every aisle, he said "it's good." Creepy. She left her cart in frozen foods to throw him off track while she bought us new toothbrushes and got the hell out of there.

Valentine's Day is coming up, and Kelley got me the best gift ever. She framed the only story we've co-wrote. It was Valentine's Day 2000 and a disturbed high school student attempted to shoot up an Elmira high school. All I did was go to his court appearance that evening (well, I also went to the prosecutor's press conference, but more as a "date" with my reporter girlfriend than as an assignment), but our friend on the copy desk gave us a double byline for the sake of our romance. I can't think of a better way to spend a Valentine's Day than on a huge breaking news story with the reporter you love. Ahhh.

Reception conception

Since the ceremony in Ptown is going to be small, we want to have a larger "reception" back here in Chicago for my family and our friends and co-workers. We are working with the manager of Davenport's Piano Bar on a party for 50. Free drinks for sure and I want to do a little cake cutting ceremony. But Kelley says we must, must, must have food and is insisting on looking at catering menus. If the party doesn't start until 8, I don't get why we have to feed people. Wine and sweets sound perfect to me. Apparently, I am the only person who likes my liquor with sugar. So, in the spirit of compromise, I might have to deal with plates of fried nuggets being passed around. I am drawing the line at cocktail wings. I just won't have people gnawing on bones at my party.

Garden state

When I check my Hotmail account, there are always lame MSN links to relationship advice. But my predilection for completing surveys led me to click on one today to see if I am in a healthy relationship. This was one of the questions. For the record, Kelley and I love Zach Braff.

What TV show best characterizes your relationship?
1. House. Emotional dysfunction is your strong suit. (Score= -1)
2. ER. There's always some disaster waiting to happen. (Score = 1)
3. General Hospital. Nothing too serious, but still requires daily attention. (Score = 2)
4. Nip/Tuck. Nothing that can't be fixed with a little elective surgery. (Score = 3)
5. Scrubs. We have our problems, sure, but they're usually resolved in 23 minutes. (Score = 4)

Dog germs, yum!

 

Culture snagged like sweater

Excerpt from the President's State of the Union address
February 1, 2006

In recent years, America has become a more hopeful nation. Violent crime rates have fallen to their lowest levels since the 1970s. ... Yet many Americans, especially parents, still have deep concerns about the direction of our culture, and the health of our most basic institutions. They're concerned about unethical conduct by public officials, and discouraged by activist courts that try to redefine marriage. They worry about children in our society who need direction and love, and about fellow citizens still displaced by natural disaster, and about suffering caused by treatable diseases.
As we look at these challenges, we must never give in to the belief that America is in decline, or that our culture is doomed to unravel. The American people know better than that. We have proven the pessimists wrong before -- and we will do it again.
A hopeful society depends on courts that deliver equal justice under the law. The Supreme Court now has two superb new members -- new members on its bench: Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Sam Alito. I thank the Senate for confirming both of them. I will continue to nominate men and women who understand that judges must be servants of the law, and not legislate from the bench.

It strikes me as odd that the president can slam "activist" judges in one breath and then introduce judges he handpicked for their conservative ideology in the other. How is it that he gets away with calling judges with which he disagrees that "dirty" word, but the judges out there to do his bidding are just "brilliant," white men? I miss Sandra already.