From David.

 

Salut!

One of my favorite gifts this Christmas came from my recently wed brother David. He manages a department store that specializes in crafts and gifts. Recently, he went in to work and found a box with two champagne glasses on his desk. When he asked why they were there, he was told to "cash them out" or whatever the retail term is for returning broken or incorrect merchandise to the maker. But the glasses were in fine shape. The other manager told him to look a little closer. David discovered that both the glasses were printed with the word "bride" and decorated with purple ribbon. One was supposed to say "groom." David, always a quick thinker, paused a moment and decided he knew someone who could use these mismatched glasses.

That would be me.

No turning back now.

Kelley wrote out the deposit check for the Secret Garden Inn yesterday morning. It was the largest check she ever wrote -- and will be until she pays the balance. Thanks honey!

The benefits to paying for your own ceremony outweigh the burden on the pocketbook. Primarily, it gives us the creative freedom to do what we want with who we want. We are beholden to no one but ourselves.

Want to hold a tiny wedding sans extended family in the yard of an inn in what was once the gay mecca of the East Coast but is fast turning into over-priced oceanside condos for straight yuppies? You're on! Dish out the London broil, baby. 

Betty Crockers

We skimped on the Christmas cookies this year. 

Hen party wear

A must -- or a bust -- for the bachelorette parties?

Eight, seven ...

In the holiday rush, I've pushed aside my wedding calendar countdown. Time to check off what I should be doing with eight and seven months to go.

Eight months:
1. Book all vendors. -- We are sending the deposit check to the hotel/caterer by the end of the month. The flower guy only needs a month's notice and no deposit. The lovely photog will accept her money this spring.
2. Register for gifts. -- Given the destination wedding, we are not asking for gifts. But we did tell guests that we are setting up a "honeymoon account" if they want to give us money.
3. Make a preliminary guest list. -- Oh, so far ahead. We've sent out the save-the-date cards already. But we are getting some mixed reaction from my family, so we might end up swapping out their invites for other friends. We'll see.
4. Order a wedding dress if you're going traditional. -- Hey, that's what got this whole thing started. I did try it on the other day to make sure it still fits. I'm in the clear as long as I resist hitting the bottle and binging on Christmas cookies.

Seven months:
1. Decide what type of honeymoon you want and research destinations. -- I think Damen Avenue in Chicago suits us just fine at this point.
2. Rent any supplies you will need for the wedding. -- Hotel/caterer owner is doing this.
3. Book hotel rooms for out-of-town guests. -- We have this taken care of for some guests, but we still need to contact an "overflow" hotel.
4. Shop for bridesmaids' dresses. -- No need. We are having everyone stand up for us, or at least stand up, during the ceremony. Dress code is look pretty and stay cool.

Rocket men

 

Elton John weds

Pink champagne and lamb? At least one of them should've dressed like Little Bo Peep.

Elton John Ties the Knot With Partner
By DANICA KIRKAThe Associated PressWednesday, December 21, 2005; 9:11 AM
WINDSOR, England -- Britain's most famous gay couple -- Sir Elton John and Canadian filmmaker David Furnish -- tied the knot Wednesday in a much-anticipated ceremony that capped the first week of legalized civil unions in the United Kingdom.
John, 58, and Furnish, 43, were among hundreds of same-sex couples taking advantage of a new British law offering same-sex couples a legal status similar to marriage. The law took effect Wednesday in England and Wales. Ceremonies were held earlier this week in Northern Ireland and Scotland.
Fans turned up before sunrise in the cobbled streets around Windsor's town hall, the Guildhall, where Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles wed in April. Cameras flickered as the couple -- John wearing purple spectacles and a black suit -- walked out arm-in-arm, waving to the crowd.
The couple drove off in a black Rolls-Royce for a lunch followed by a glitzy reception with more than 700 guests.
"I think it's amazing -- it's brilliant," said Tim Alcock, 43, one of dozens of onlookers.
Prime Minister Tony Blair, speaking to reporters at a news conference, wished the couple well and congratulated them for exercising their newfound legal right. Activists saw the union as milestone in the gay-rights movement.
Peter Tatchell, spokesman for the gay and lesbian human rights group OutRage! said the wedding "would raise the profile of gay love and commitment."
"Their same-sex civil partnership ceremony will be reported all over the world including in countries where news about gay issues is normally never reported," he said. "This will give hope to millions of isolated, vulnerable, lesbian and gay people especially those living in repressive and homophobic countries."
The new law -- passed last year despite some opposition from Parliament's unelected House of Lords -- allows civil ceremonies that will give same-sex couples the same social security, tax, pension and inheritance rights as married couples.
Furnish, best known for a documentary about the pop star called "Tantrums and Tiaras," has been with John for 12 years. Both acknowledged that their ceremony might have broader ramifications.
"As far as I'm concerned I've always considered myself committed to Elton and he's the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. So in that sense I don't feel like the dynamic of our relationship is going to change," Furnish told Attitude magazine. "But from a social standpoint, I think it's hugely significant. It is a major, major change. It is one of the defining issues of our times."
After the ceremony the couple headed for a lunch with their family to be followed by a reception -- costing an estimated $1.75 million -- where pink champagne and lamb would be served to hundreds of celebrity guests inside two giant white tents that have been erected on the grounds of the pop star's Windsor mansion.
Their low-key ceremony was attended by friends and family, including John's mother, Sheila, and stepfather Fred, and Furnish's parents Gladys and Jack, who flew in from Canada.
Art dealer Jay Jopling was among the couple's friends who said the ceremony was "like any other couple getting married."
"They kissed at the end. It was very, very happy," Jopling said.
Guests at the couple's bachelor night on Monday included heavy metal rocker-turned- reality-TV-star Ozzy Osbourne and his wife, Sharon, model and actress Liz Hurley and musicians Bryan Adams, Gary Barlow and Kid Rock.
John, who was married once before to studio engineer Renate Blauel, is known for such songs as "Crocodile Rock" and "Rocket Man." He was also a close friend of Princess Diana, who died in a car crash in Paris in 1997, and was knighted in 1998 -- an honor he described as the pinnacle of his decades-long career.
"It's a long time coming really," said Suzi Uprichard, 33, of Maidenhead, who was in the crowd in Windsor. She said she was excited to be part of what she described as a historic day for same-sex couples.
Other couples tying the knot Wednesday included actor Sir Antony Sher, 56, and his partner Greg Doran, 47, who wed at Islington Town Hall in north London.
Three couples signed their documents moments after the register office opened at 8 a.m. in Brighton, the south coast city known as Britain's gay capital.
"I'm really excited! I'm very happy to be one of the first," said Gino Meriano, who was with his partner, Mike Ullett.
The Netherlands, Canada, Belgium and Spain have legalized same-sex marriage, while Germany, France and Switzerland have laws similar to Britain's. In the United States, only Massachusetts allows gay marriage, while Vermont and Connecticut permit civil unions.
Associated Press writer Rashi Khilnani contributed to this story from Windsor.

Our limo

After the ceremony, we're getting a tour of Provincetown in one of these lovely bicycle rickshaws. I hope there are hills. So fun. 

Can we get one in pants?

 

Craigslist, take two

My first attempt to flirt with Kelley on craigslist failed. (She saw my "talk derby to me" post to her but jumped to the conclusion that I actually posted it to someone else.) So this morning I told her I was going to flirt with her on the listserve. My post:

Babe in my kitchen this morning -- w4w -- 29
You -- soft butch in sexy boots taking out my trash. Me -- hungover geek scrambling to make eggs. There is still one present for you under the tree. A hint? It might as well be made of mistletoe. Yum.

Present period

It must be that time of the month. That time, mid-month, that both Kelley and I get the itch to give and receive gifts. Almost four weeks ago to the date and time, we broke down and gave each other the wedding bands we bought last May because we just couldn't wait to wear them any longer.

Well, it happened again. You get a few drinks in us and we just have to unwrap boxes. Last night, after Kelley's work Christmas bash, we stumbled home (we only had $7 left so the cabbie dropped us off near but not at the apartment) and declared it officially Christmas. Munching on leftover pizza and still quite spirited, we tore open three presents a piece. Rather than fingers, this time the presents were for our feet. Sexy, sexy shoes all around.

In all the excitement, Kelley misplaced her wedding band. She was shuffling around half-naked digging through her pockets and drawers and bed sheets swearing she just had it on. I reminded her we bought the bands as "practice rings" because we couldn't afford the fancy jewels yet so not to worry too much about it. Eventually, the crack detective that she is, she discovered she deposited the ring on my side of the medicine cabinet. Case solved!

This adventure in the almost married life of Kati and Kelley has two lessons for moi. One, I should be prepared on Jan. 14 to shower my love with presents (it will be just three days short of her birthday afterall). And two, it only took one month for KQ to almost lose her ring. Not time to dole out for diamonds yet.

Divorce song

This kid buries part of the lead -- that the couple is breaking up amid allegations of abuse -- but it is a good story otherwise. Kelley called me up and read me the AP version to declare "this won't be us in five years."

Article published Dec 15, 2005 in the Rutland Herald
Nation's first civil union ending
BRATTLEBORO — The first same-sex couple in the United States to receive many of the legal rights of marriage are in the process of dissolving their historic civil union in Vermont.
Carolyn Conrad asked a Brattleboro court in October to end her civil union with Kathleen Peterson after five years and that their home and property be split up. The two women had been in a relationship for about 10 years, according to court documents.
Conrad and her attorney, Angela Prodan of Brattleboro, would not comment on the request to dissolve the union. Peterson, who is representing herself in the proceedings, declined to comment on why the relationship ended.
"All I want to say is that the civil union was a big source of pride for me and now it's not," Peterson said Wednesday night.
Conrad, 35, and Peterson, 46, were legally united just moments after Vermont's landmark civil union law went into effect at midnight on July 1, 2000. They were the first same-sex couple in the country to receive benefits similar to those of married couples.
The two women — who met on a hiking trip several years earlier — received the first civil union license in Vermont by Brattleboro Town Clerk Annette Cappy during a ceremony at a small park in front of the town offices.
"We didn't plan on being the first," Conrad told a Reuters reporter at the time. "But we wanted to do it as soon as possible, and (the town clerk) was kind enough to agree."
The breakup is a milestone in the movement to grant gay and lesbian couples the same rights as heterosexual marriage. But people should not be surprised that same-sex couples experience similar relationship problems as traditional couples, said Bari Shamus of Brattleboro, one of the founding members of the Vermont Freedom to Marry Task Force.
"There's no proof that our relationships are any better than heterosexual relationships," Shamas said. "We all experience similar issues in relationships."
Up-to-date information on the number of civil unions that have been dissolved in Vermont was not available Wednesday. But from July 1, 2000, through the end of 2004, according to the Vermont Office of Vital Records, 7,549 couples have filed for civil unions in Vermont and there have been 78 dissolutions.
A large majority of same-sex couple seeking civil unions come to Vermont just for that purpose. Only 15 percent of the civil unions, 1,137, were couples who were Vermont residents.
A little more than two-thirds of the same-sex couples who filed for civil unions were women.
Shamas said weathering difficult times may be more difficult for a same-sex couple because there is less of a community support system than for straight couples.
Brattleboro Family Court Judge Karen Carroll granted a relief-from-abuse order against Peterson Wednesday after Conrad filed for an emergency order against her partner on Dec. 7, according to court documents.
Peterson is barred from contacting Conrad and must remain more than 100 feet from her home, workplace and vehicle, according to the order. The court sent a copy of the order to the Vermont State Police on Wednesday and a follow-up hearing is scheduled for Jan. 4, 2006.
Conrad stated that she feared physical harm from Peterson after she allegedly punched a hole in the wall during an argument in late August, and threatened to harm a female friend of Peterson's in early December, according to an affidavit filed at the court.
"At this point, I believe her behavior is escalating and I am fearful for my safety," Conrad wrote in her court statement.
Peterson would not comment on the allegations.
Under Vermont's civil union law, same sex couples receive such marital benefits as the right to make medical decisions for each other and the ability to file joint tax returns.
Since the historic bill was signed into law by then-Gov. Howard Dean, Massachusetts has legalized same-sex marriage and Connecticut and New Jersey have begun allowing civil unions.
Meanwhile, more than 30 states have passed laws in recent years prohibiting the extension of marital rights to gay and lesbian couples.
Contact Daniel Barlow at daniel.barlow@rutlandherald.com.

Dancing queens

Kelley is creating a new Playlist on our iTunes called "Wedding Dance." This is what it contains so far:

Why Didn't You Call Me, Macy Gray
It's Not Right but It's Okay (Thunderpuss Mix), Whitney Houston
Don't Leave Me This Way, Thelma Houston
Dancing Queen, ABBA
A Little Respect, Erasure
Ecstasy, Rusted Root
If, Janet Jackson
Hung Up, Madonna
Bizarre Love Triangle, New Order
It Feels So Good, Sonique

Am I the only one imaging Kelley twirling her jacket above her head?

Maybe we should just use this photo.

 

Picture perfect

If we were smart girls, we would have had our engagement photo taken over the summer or fall when it was still warm outside and before we started putting on our winter pudge. Now, come three weeks before Christmas, when my dad says he wants a family picture of us as his gift, we're rushing to find the time, the place and the right motif.

You may remember my putting the kabash on Kelley, Judy and me wearing matching turtlenecks. Well, I've come up with a much better idea. I think we should all stand in the tub in towels and shower caps and mock surprise at the camera. Kelley and Judy are not game, so we can't do it. Somehow giving my dad a photo of just me in the shower doesn't sound like such a good idea.

So we moved on to shooting something at the park. In the single digit temperatures. Without coats. It could be pretty. It could infect us with pneumonia.

How about something sweet in front of the Christmas tree and the DVD of the burning Yule log, you ask? A little too Sears-portrait for my taste.

We haven't settled on anything yet. I suggested we just forget being creative and ditch the dog, wear jeans and white blouses and just smile nice in front of a plan backdrop. Kelley is still committed to thinking of something original. More picture power to her.

Cha-ching

Our obsession with planning a ceremony has been overcome by the holiday season and thoughts of money, money, money. I don't need an accountant to tell me that it is impossible to pay of a credit card, save for the wedding and celebrate Christmas in style on my meager journalist salary. Kelley keeps reminding me, though.

My dears.