One of these things is not like the other.

We did some preliminary suit shopping for Kelley on-line the other night over a glass of wine. A trusty Google search of "women's tuxedos" brings up dozens of uniform Web sites featuring either frumpy waitress tuxedos or slutty waitress tuxedos -- no lesbian wedding tuxedos. What comes next only gets more perplexing. After narrowing our search to Chicago department store sites, we found just one with a satisfying array of women's suits and tuxes in white and summer colors. Looks like we'll be slumming it at Bloomingdale's.