Photos!

Our photographer is about one-third of the way through editing the 3,000 images she captured at our wedding. She sent me five of her favorite shots so far so we can get prints to display at the Chicago reception this weekend. They are below. I like the one where we are nuzzling the best.

 

 

 

 

 

Our song...

"Call Off The Search"
I won't spend my life
Waiting for an angel to descend
Searching for a rainbow with an end
Now that I've found you
I'll call off the search
And I won't spend my life
Gazing at the stars up in the sky
Wondering if love will pass me by
Now that I've found you
I'll call off the search
Out on my own
I would never have known this world
That I see today
And I've got a feeling
It won't fade away
And I won't end my days
Wishing that love would come along
Because you are in my life where you belong
Now that I've found you
I'll call off the search
INTERLUDE
Now that I've found you I'll call off the search [x2]

Just Married

Our whirlwind wedding vacation has come to an end. Tomorrow, Kelley returns to work with the county after two weeks off. I go back to the paper having exhausted three weeks (my entire year's) vacation time.

Since we've been off the clock, we've had the time of our lives. We drove halfway across the country and back, camped in Upstate New York, got married in Cape Cod in front of all our best friends and bounced our way through Sleater-Kinney's farewell concert at Lollapalooza. Here are some of our memories.

1. The Taj Mahal of Camping, July 22-24
We set out for New York on the third Saturday morning in July. We arrived at Keuka Lake before dusk in serious need of a drink. Judy (our dog) had grated our nerves by standing up in the back seat of the rental car and blocking the rear view mirror for most of the 10-hour ride. Fortunately, Diane, our hostess, had wine chilling in the fridge of her mobile home (though actually a non-mobile home due to the built-on deck and front room). After a few glasses, we were rocking Blackberry Hill to what became the unofficial song of our road trip, "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. (How can you resist the lyrics, "What are you going to do with all that junk, all that junk down in your trunk? I'm going to g-g-get you drunk, get you love-drunk on my humps".) The bugs were biting, the well water smelled like rotten eggs and a dog with an ear infection slept under my bunk bed. Still, it was awesome. We woke up every morning to the birds chirping and scampered down to the dock so Judy could play in the water. Diane did all the cooking, firing up the grill for turkey burgers one night and then coming back the next day at lunch with TBLTs. (That's turkey bacon for the uninitiated.)

2. Reeling 'em in, July 27
Once we arrived in Cape Cod, deep-sea fishing was on our list of must-dos. Kelley had a bunch of tickets reserved for the morning of the ceremony, but she just couldn't wait. So we went on an all-girl fishing trip Thursday afternoon with Diane (of turkey burger fame), her girlfriend Colleen and my college pal Heather. Loaded up with beer, water and sunscreen, we boarded Cee Jay's fishing boat at 1:30 p.m. with an unnerving number of French-speaking Canadians. I wanted to wear a sarong for this excursion because I was not really committed to catching any fish, but changed into shorts on advice from Kelley. So, it shouldn't come as a surprise that after a minute or two of jigging off the back of the boat that I nonchalantly said, "I think my line is caught on something," and motioned for the skipper to help me disengage myself from what I assumed was the bottom of the boat. I was fussing with my reel when Kelley saw a fish jump out of the water. A fish that somehow attached itself to my line. I had accidentally hooked the first catch of the day. Yeah. So. It got away. Kelley's bluefish was not so lucky. While everyone else was reeling in bottom-feeding sand sharks (including me; I eventually caught on and caught one), my fair maiden hooked a 29-incher. We had it filleted and our innkeepers soaked it in milk and grilled it for their dinner. They said it was tasty.

3. Sea Breeze, July 29
Kelley wore a pair of elegant linen pants with a silk camisole and a linen blouse for the ceremony. The blouse was untucked during the wedding, but she removed it while we took some photos on the beach. Her jaunty pose revealed that her fly was down the entire time.

4. Our Song, July 29
After listening to hundreds of love songs and then putting our top 10 to a vote at the campground, we still were undecided on what would be our first song. The time came for us to dance, and I went into the inn to play DJ. I deferred to Tom, one of the innkeepers, who did not hesitate. He gave us what turned out to be his Dream First Song, "Call Off the Search" by Katie Melua. Google her (she's hot), then download the song (it was No. 1 in Europe). Truly romantic.

5. Paparazzi, July 29
We now have a tiny inclination of what its like to be a celebrity couple. After our ceremony, we commissioned two Provincetown Pedicabs, one for ourselves and one for our photographers. Ours was decked out with a sign -- "Kelley and Kati, Just Hitched" -- and a bunch of cans and streamers. We went on a tour of this tiny, fishing town's main streets. The cans were so noisy, people dining outside had to stop their conversations and tourists were popping their heads out of stores. We were waving and kissing and toasting champagne while the photographers raced behind us and up beside us and in front of us. Strangers were clapping and snapping pictures with their phones. I even had a wardrobe malfunction. The strap of my dress fell down as we raced down a hill (no onlookers here), creating a Janet Jackson-esque shot of me covering my left breast as Kelley looks on.

6. Feels Like Two Years Already, July 30
Kelley was so proud of herself Sunday night. A bunch of us went to Pepe's for dinner and drinks to celebrate my 30th birthday. On the way home, we did some trinket shopping on Commercial Street. I bought the lovely lobster hat featured in some pictures below. Kelley bought two "Just Married" sweatshirts, marked down to $9.99 each. She was all bragging about getting a deal when I pointed out why they were so cheap. In small print it read, "Provincetown 2004".

7. Farewell Tour, Aug. 4
We ended our vacation at Lollapalooza. I had to see Sleater-Kinney's final Midwest performance, and Kelley agreed to be my date. We rushed the stage after a mellow performance by Iron and Wine (us newlyweds snuggled on the concrete with water bottles as pillows during the show) so we could have a spot up front for S-K. What a treat, the DIY band did their own sound check. We got to see Janet yell at roadies about her drums, the placement of speakers, etc. And, to our delight, they played the song we quoted on our invitations, the only S-K song Kelley can understand. The song is "Modern Love", of course. The simple quote, "My baby loves me. I am so happy."

Our vows

Kelley and I took different approaches to writing our wedding vows. She waited until the last hour and wrote a single draft on notebook paper. I printed out a rough draft on a tiny piece of paper and edited it several times by hand during our drive out to Cape Cod.

We also transported them down the aisle differently. I wrapped my vows around the base of my bouquet with a tissue. Kelley can't remember what she did with hers. She either had them in her pocket or had Mary Joan hold on to them until the time came to read them.

(An aside -- Kelley started to cry during the ceremony. I offered her my tissue, but she refused to take it from me. It was all wet and crumpled from my sweaty palms and the soaked stems of my flowers. She thought it was a used. Everyone laughed at that one.)

But some of our phrases and thoughts were remarkably the same. Read on.

My vows:
Kelley, what I love most about you is your capacity to love others. I admire the way you opened your heart and devoted your life to your grandmother, and I believe there is a reason I came into your life shortly after her death. I showed up to ensure your heart did not close. You took a risk opening yourself to me when you weren't yet healed. In return, I make this vow to you: I promise to love you with the completeness you loved Helen until we, too, are old, old women.
Kelley, I don't remember the first day we met, but I do remember the first time I was sad to see you go. It was the morning after our first date. As you were leaving my apartment, I said, "When can we do this again?" To my delight, the answer turned out to be every day for the next six years. Today I promise to build a relationship with you known for its longevity and spontaneity. I promise you a one-night stand with a lifetime guarantee.
Kelley, I see a lifetime ahead of us. I want to travel the world with you and create adventures in our own backyard. I want us to help each other accomplish goals we thought were not possible. I want to write about you and for you and with you. I want to make you a better you. So, today, I renew a promise that I've already made to myself to you. Each day, when I wake up, I promise to think of something I can do to make you happy or bring you comfort or deepen our understanding of one another. Love is work. Marriage is participation. And I promise to be your life partner.

Kelley's vows:
I don't remember the first time we met. But I do remember the first time I knew I loved you -- it was here in this beautiful seaside town. Your beauty, sense of humor, passion for writing and love of life that captured my heart.
And I remember that as we drove home that I wanted to be with you forever. I wanted to commit my life to you, but you said you wouldn't get married until you were at least 30. But here we are and tomorrow you turn 30, so I guess I got you to cave a day early. Lucky me.
You asked me the other day what I thought the best part of being married would be. I said the jewelry. But really, the best part will be taking care of you every day for the rest of our lives, until we're little old ladies riding around in motorized scooters together.
Kati, you bring joy, happiness and passion to my life. You challenge me to be a better person every day, and I love you for that.
We have so much to look forward to. The next chapter of this wonderful story is ready to begin, and I can't wait to see what happens.

The Script

PROCESSIONAL: Bach's “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” performed by Kingsbury Strings

OPENING WORDS OF OFFICIANT MARY JOAN COLLINS:
Friends, we have been invited here today to share with Kathryn Mari Phillips and Kelley Elizabeth Quinn a very important moment in their lives. In the past six years, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to enter a civil marriage.
In the words of Massachusetts Supreme Court Justice Margaret Marshall, a civil marriage is “at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. It is an association that promotes a way of life, not causes; a harmony in living, not political faiths; a bilateral loyalty, not commercial or social projects. Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.”
It is fitting that we gather here today because this is where Kati and Kelley were alone for the first time, explored each other and fell in love.

(Mary Joan, one of Kelley's longtime friends from Elmira, then gave her take on the ceremony.)

READINGS
“The First Day” by Christina Rossetti. Read by Heather Pitzel, Kati's college newspaper editor.

I wish I could remember the first day,
First hour, first moment of your meeting me;
If bright or dim the season, it might be
Summer or winter for aught I can say.
So unrecorded did it slip away,
So blind was I to see and to foresee,
So dull to mark the budding of my tree
That would not blossom yet for many a May.
If only I could recollect it! Such
A day of days! I let it come and go
As traceless as a thaw of bygone snow.
It seemed to mean so little, meant so much!
If only now I could recall that touch,
First touch of hand in hand! – Did one but know.

“Madonna of the Evening Flowers” by Amy Lowell. Read by Moira Crowley, a longtime friend Kati met at the Daily Iowan.

All day long I have been working,
Now I am tired.
I call: “Where are you?”
But there is only the oak-tree rustling in the wind.
The house is very quiet,
The sun shines on your books,
On your scissors and thimble just put down,
But you are not there.
Suddenly I am lonely:
Where are you?
I go about searching.
Then I see you,
Standing under a spire of pale blue larkspur,
With a basket of roses on your arm.
You are cool, like silver,
And you smile.
I think the Canterbury bells are playing little tunes.
You tell me that the peonies need spraying,
That the columbines have overrun all bounds,
That the pyrus japonica should be cut back and
rounded.
You tell me these things.
But I look at you, heart of silver,
White heart-flame of polished silver,
Burning beneath the blue steeples of the larkspur,
And I long to kneel instantly at your feet,
While all about us peal the loud, sweet Te Deums
Of the Canterbury bells.

VOWS

(We read vows that we wrote ourselves. Then we had our friends read these vows to us and we replied in the affirmative.)

Do you promise to be faithful and honest in every way and to honor the faith and trust that is placed in you by (Kelley or Kati)?
Do you promise to love and respect (Kati or Kelley) in her successes and her failures, to work at your love and always make her a priority in your life?
Do you promise to stand by (Kelley or Kati) and lift her up so that through your union you can accomplish more than you could alone?
Do you promise to make (Kati or Kelley) laugh, to softly kiss her when she is hurting and to be her companion and best friend all the days of your life?

EXCHANGE OF RINGS: Adapted from "Illuminata" by Marianne Williamson
With this ring I give you my promise that from this day forward you shall not walk alone. May my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home.

DECLARATION OF COMMITMENT BY COLLINS: Adapted from a Native American prayer

Kati and Kelley by taking these vows you have changed the course of your lives.
Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.
Go now and enter the days of your togetherness
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
You may now kiss your bride.

INTRODUCTION OF NEWLYWEDS BY COLLINS
I present to you Kathryn and Kelley Phillips-Quinn. You may now kiss your bride.

RECESSIONAL: Queen, “Best Friend”

The sign we'd been waiting for!

 

Rock lobster

 

Slow dancing on Sunday

 

It was this big

 

Fish attack!

 

Musack, anyone?

I hope our wedding planner-caterer-host is a better planner-caterer-host than he is a speller. We abandoned our pursuit of the perfect pop love song for the processional and now are seeking a string player to guide me down the aisle. Kelley asked Tom if he could recommend a violinist. He emailed back: "We've never had a violinist, only cellowists..."

Temptation

Kelley announced this morning that she is going on a diet, I presumed because the wedding is four weeks away. She had a different marker in mind. "I am going on a diet today," she said, "because the molasses cookies are almost gone."

Pride brides

Almost married people are so queer.

To celebrate Pride Weekend, I decided to get art-n-craftsy and make pink T-shirts for us to wear during the Proud To Run 5K. On the front they read, "Brides-to-be." One the back we had our names. We would've had the dates, too, but I forgot to buy iron-on numbers -- which turned out to be OK b/c people approached us and asked us the date. Kelley claims she was being checked out right and left anyway, but I say a personalized shirt stakes a claim even better than a ring. She's so mine, she thinks wearing matching T-shirts is cool.

Primp my bride

The past few weeks, I have been experimenting with bridal beauty techniques. Despite the disastrous results of my leg and "other" waxing, I had my eyebrows shaped. If you don't count the week I endured tiny, white blisters above my eyes, the results were quite nice. Last weekend, I had my first nail tips glued to my fingers. They've rendered me useless. I cannot open a can, close a window or grab Judy by her scruff to pull a tennis ball out of her mouth. And I felt like it was THE END OF THE WORLD when, on the same day I had the tips fastened to my fingers, a tiny speck of the color rubbed off ... while I was attempting to cut a corn cob in half. I know. What was I thinking? Who cuts corn cobs in half? Why is it so hard to be a girl?

Pretense

Glad I'm not superstitious (knock on wood). I wrote up a ceremony announcement -- in the past tense -- to submit to the Windy City Times in August. I have to keep it to 100-200 words so some of these details will have to go.

After six years of love and commitment, two Chicagoans pledged their lives to one another Saturday, July 29 during an intimate ceremony tucked away in a secluded garden off of Commercial Street in Provincetown, Mass.

Kelley Elizabeth Quinn and Kathryn Mari Phillips were civilly wed by Quinn’s best fried, Mary Joan Collins, in front of 20 witnesses at the Secret Garden Inn on the evening before Phillips’ golden birthday.

The couple chose Provincetown for the ceremony because it was where they fell in love. The ceremony also was meant as a sign of support for the state’s gay marriage law.

Quinn wore a two-piece Ralph Lauren suit, and Phillips wore a floor-length, silk evening dress. They exchanged platinum bands and bands worn by Quinn’s late grandmother, Helen.

Diane Strawser, a corporate saleswoman from Upstate New York, stood up for Quinn, her lifelong friend. Sarah Mesle, a professor from Rogers Park, stood up for Phillips, a college friend from the University of Iowa. Judith Phillips-Quinn, the wedded couple’s German shepherd-chow mix, acted as flower dog.

Quinn, 37, is spokeswoman for Cook County Clerk David Orr’s office and is a former award-winning journalist for the Chicago Daily Law Bulletin and the Aurora Beacon News.

Phillips, 30, is the education reporter for the Daily Southtown and was recently honored by the Chicago Headline Club and Education Writers Association for watchdog reporting.

The couple met in 2000 while working at a newspaper in Upstate New York. They knew they were meant for each other after covering a thwarted Columbine-style shooting at Quinn’s high school alma mater. They agreed it was their best Valentine’s Day ever.

Quinn and Phillips moved to Chicago in 2001 to further their careers and because the city is known for its acceptance of gays and lesbians. They currently live in Wicker Park.

Down to the wire

Six weeks to go. We're down to the nitty gritty. The ceremony is written. The cake is ordered. The bicycle rickshaws that will tour us around Ptown in all our glory are reserved. Still outstanding -- our processional song. If we don't find one soon, we may just hand out kazoos.