Sing a song

My new geeky pasttime is logging onto iTunes and searching music with the following words in the title: wedding, wedding march, bride, wife and -- not in anticipation, but because all the best love songs are about loss -- divorce. This started as a fishing expedition for processional music. I am the only one hoofing it down the aisle so the song needs to be short and, per Kelley, "not too churchy." She shot down the 54-second version of the bridal march expertly played on electric guitars by none other than the big, gay rockers in Queen. It would've been perfect if we were Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra. But the Secret Garden just isn't rocking that hard, at least not at 6 p.m. That also eliminates Billy Idol and as much as I love early Liz Phair, her ditty "Polyester Bride" just isn't that great (not as great, say, as her "Divorce Song"). I'm not really a flute girl or a classical guitar afficianado, which leaves me with one excellent but top secret Japanese artist that should have everyone laughing and crying at once. Exactly the mood I want for our ceremony.