Presents, for me?

So here is something unexpected. Twice I've let potential guests know that we don't expect gifts or a wedding shower because we want people to fund their own trips to P-town. And twice the potential guests have balked.

When I told my sister about the nuptials she seemed a tiny perturbed that she would have to organize another bridal shower since she's coordinating the fest for our soon-to-be sister-in-law. Then she seemed a tiny bit hurt when I told her we didn't want a shower because we'd rather people spend money on plane tickets. Which is better, put out or put upon?

My pal and college newspaper editor, Heather, questioned our decision not to register for gifts. People like her, she said, would buy us gifts no matter what. She advised us to register anyway so as to avoid getting 20 fajita makers. I told her we were truly enforcing the no-kid rule, but that exceptions will be made for presents. However, I feel like registering and saying no gifts is sending a mixed message.

Heather did offer a good compromise. She suggested we set up a honeymoon or travel account. People who want to give can write a check to the account. That way, they satisfy their urge to spend and we have something cool that won't hog our limited shelf space.