Act your age, title

My 29th Halloween is behind me, though the pictures of me wearing a wedding dress and pumping a keg are yet to surface. My drunken performance earned me a night on the couch and a stern talking-to from Kelley. I need to start acting like a wife, she said.

So far, this is the wife In/Out list:

board games/keg parties
making dinner with her in mind/expecting her to make dinner because she gets home first
rubbing her feet/complaining about the callouses beneath her toes