Delayed

Bless me blogger, it has been two weeks since my last post. But I have a good reason.

Kelley went in for emergency surgery last week and is just now getting back to normal. I didn't feel like writing about "us" while we were working on "us."

A sick bed tests a relationship. It is easy to promise "in sickness and in health" when your biggest complaint is indigestion.

Kelley had a bit more than that. Her outpatient laparoscopy was supposed to knock her off her feet for a couple days. Her abdomen still hasn't healed. (Check out a picture in our photo album.)

The day of the surgery I took off work to take care of her. But the following days I tried to squeeze being a nurse in between an education writers' conference, an assignment at Sox Park and a night shift at the newspaper. I ended up doing everything half-assed and feeling like I failed my girl, my job and myself. When I finally had a day off, I was a resentful nurse.

On Kelley's end, she was a good patient. She kept track of her own medicine, took her own temperature and even did chores (the Vicodin didn't touch her OCD). But she was scared about the recovery process and needed someone to listen and comfort her. I thought her independence showed otherwise. She was too upset to set me straight.

With the worst behind us, we shared a bowl of ice cream and talked about what went right, what went wrong and how to do it better next time.

When Kelley was wheeled into the recovery room and came to, she cried and asked for me. We took that as a good sign. I kept a close eye on her the first day, and I left my conference early the second day so I could spend a couple hours petting her on the couch, which she appreciated.

Our communication and my attentiveness dropped off after that. But we think we can resolve those issues easily enough.

The sick person needs to be clear about her feelings and expectations. The well person needs to respond as though the sick person is her No. 1 priority. We both need to work on staying healthy.